Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Freedom Is Not Free

May we always honor those who have fought for our country,

the ones who have returned, and the ones who did not.

May we always remember those who gave their lives for our freedom.

"Lest We Forget"

Wednesday, November 05, 2008


My Dearest Terran,

Wasn't it just last year that you were placed into my arms, a wrinkled, red and bruised bundle ready to make his wailing debut into this world? My heart burst wide open with happiness the first time I heard you announcing your place in my world.

Perhaps it was last month when you broke eggs in the carpet, and then desperately tried to clean the mess away by rubbing them into the carpet. Even at the age of two, you wanted only to make Mommy happy. Oh, how you make me happy! Your crazy blonde "flop-a-hair" locks and baby blue eyes charmed me every time, and I couldn't help but chuckle at your cuteness. It wasn't long after that when you discovered the beauty in classical music, and questioned the stirring emotions you felt in your four year old soul.

Maybe it was only a week ago when you learned to ride your bike for the first time, or left me to join your friends at school. You didn't look back once you were on the bus that first day. I'm glad for that, you would have seen me crying as I stood there waving, trying my best to be brave.

I think it might have been yesterday when you left for school again, wearing a cast on your arm after flipping your bike at the neighbors house. I think you mumbled something about starting Jr. High. Or going to your first dance. I wasn't sure though, because I couldn't recognize your voice.

When you come home from High School this afternoon I'll still be here, waiting for you like I always have been. You will be different. It takes me a while to recognize the adult you are becoming. You sound like a man. You are taller than I am now, and your shoulders carry a young man's responsibilities. The more you grow up, and away from me, the more desperately I search for traces of the baby, the toddler, the little boy you used to be.

I still see him. He's there in your eyes, the way you still look to me for reassurance when things are uncertain. He's there in the smile that you seem to save only for those closest to you. He's still there when I peek in on you after you're sound asleep, as I watch your chest rising and falling in rhythm with your dreams. Your dreams have always been important, and I hope you follow them, wherever they may lead you.

Fifteen years ago I welcomed you into this world. You were my first. I was young and scared, but you made it so easy to be your mother. You taught me so much about life and about myself, and about unconditional love.

I'm proud of you. Proud of the person you are now, and of the man you will become. Happy Fifteenth Birthday Terran. I love you more than you will ever know.


Tuesday, November 04, 2008

Looking Ahead

It's 4 days after Halloween and I'm listening to Garfield's Christmas on TV. Awesome movie that I remember taping off TV back in tha' day. This one is the DVD version that we rented for Halloween because Connor was too sick to go out. It has Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas on it. Turns out that Levi took him to a couple of houses anyways and I watched it alone...but don't tell anyone!

Here's a few pics of the preparations at our house:

Now that Halloween is over, Connor's focus is all about Christmas. "Oh what fun..." Heehee!

Thankfully he seems to be over the worst of his Pneumonia. I'm all about treating ailments naturally, but Wow! Do I ever love Prednisone! After the second dose his coughing was reduced to the point where he could actually finish a sentence without gasping for breath or having another coughing fit. And to where I could actually doze off a bit between breathing treatments at night. Yay for sleep in two hour stretches! After 5 days on the stuff he's barely coughing at all! : )

So now that he's on the mend, I have all four littles back for daycare again. All with runny noses and phlegmy coughs. Not so great - inevitable I know, but still...so the cycle continues. *sigh*

At some point last night the culmination of the past week and a half without sleep and a compromised immune system hit me full in the face. My throat hurts. My nose is plugged and runny at the same time. My lungs are burning and I feel like I've been hit by a truck. Looking after 4 toddlers and a preschooler today? It's not a pretty sight.

On the positive side, an opportunity has presented itself and I can't turn it down. I've got some plans in the works that will allow me to be more available for my children, put my skills, education and training to good use and still bring in an income. It's going to mean that some big decisions will have to be made, (nothing bad though - we're not moving or anything like that!) and a lot of ground work at first, but in the end I know it will be worth it. I wish I could elaborate more, but until some things are firmed up I can't really divulge much information. I do know that if I'm able to successfully go ahead with my plans, I will be busy in a different and much less stressful way than I am now.

And that's good for everyone involved!