Thursday, September 22, 2005

Wedding Daze

I am such a bad blogger. No posts for over a month. Were you wondering if I would ever write again? I was.

This whole "wedding thing" is really taking it's toll on my nerves, my ever shrinking bank account, and ironically, my relationship with Levi. Don't get me wrong, things are still as great and solid between us as they ever were. We are still madly in love with one another. It's strange, though, how trudging through all this mucky business of getting hitched seems to have made us "miss" one another. Does any of that make sense?

Normally, we would snuggle up on the sofa and watch TV after the kids were tucked into bed. Now we sit at the kitchen table and try to figure out where all the money for the DJ, the harpist, the minister, etc. is going to come from. We know that on top of all this, we still need to pay our usual bills, and have money set aside for other things like medicine. (yep, its that time again, the kids are back in school and dragging home every viral infection they can get on their hands... but that's another post)

I guess it's not even really about the money. I just miss the normality that used to go on around here. People now call all day and ask me things. Yellow roses with the copper ones? Wine at the head table? Do you want spruce or pine trees? Are the kids going to be here or there? Can we get Terran in again, we think we have his tux the right length now. Do you want the full name or just the initials engraved on these? How is everyone getting to the ceremony, and in what vehicle? Why is the van making that noise? Are you leaking power steering fluid? Can you find out how much to get that fixed? Did Connor say his ear was hurting? His fever was what? Did you sleep at all last night? Did you eat today? Can you sign my homework? What's for supper? Will you be paying with credit card or cash? AAAAGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!

So. There it is. A two second snippet of my day. I hate to seem ungrateful. I feel so fortunate to be able to even have choices. I am just tired of making all of the decisions. I miss when the hardest decision was "Do I really want to eat before going to bed or no?" It will soon be over, this insanity.

Only two more sleeps!