The Cloud

Yesterday started off on a strange note. When I awoke, my mood was as grey as the sky above, and my mind as clouded. I was not feeling unhappy, I have so much to be thankful for. I had finished preparing the taxes for the year, we were going to be able to afford the new roof after all, and Levi and I were excitedly counting down the months until the wedding. We were all healthy, and things were going along as they should be. I'm not quite sure why, but I felt the sudden need for space and solitude, and my soul in need of rejuvenation. I snuggled deeper into the warmth of my blankets, closed my eyes, and let my mind wander. Whatever the reason for my blue funk, I found myself revisiting the past, and missing my childhood.

There were happy memories of my family playing a sort of volleyball game on the beach, sliding around in the wet sloppy sand and gleefully getting covered in the soothing goop. There was the time that my grandmother took my sister and I for a drive, and we found ourselves in the provincial park hiking through the woods. That was the day my sister was chewing gum and lost a tooth, while we were listening to Nana Mouskouri crooning "Love is a Rose". There was the really long bike ride my cousin and I went on, we rode all over the countryside that day, and visited my grandparents and later my godparents. There were memories of early mornings with my dad, heading to my grandfather's barn to milk Bessie the cow.

I seem to have a lot of memories about the barn, I loved playing in there. I used to love searching for the newest litter of kittens, or singing to the animals. My favorite was when my sisters and I would climb up into the loft and set up our own little "houses" with the hay bales. We would visit each other's houses, sit on the sofas made of straw, and pretend we were grown up ladies with families. Other times, I would go the loft myself and just daydream the hours away. There was something soothing about being there by myself, surrounded by the sweet smell of the hay, as a gentle breeze blew through the open doors below. The only sounds were of the of the cows moving about, the bleats of the new lambs as they frisked in their pen, and the chirping of the birds outside in the trees. The barn cats, many of them tame, would spend hours clamoring for the attention that I loved to lavish on them. The contented sound of their purring as they rubbed against me often lulled me to sleep in the warm sunny patch that I would build my "nest" in.

It may have been at that point that I dozed off for a few minutes. When I opened my eyes again, the sun was trying to peek through a cloudy veil and was warming my face. I took a deep breath and stretched. I was still feeling a little lost in my own thoughts, but my mood had shifted considerably and I finally felt ready to face the day, whatever it might bring.