Thicker Than Water?

We've all heard the expression "Blood is thicker than water." So what do you do when the blood is so thin that even water seems thicker? In my case, nothing. Try not to say anything, for fear of setting off a barrel full of ammunition. That is, until today.

With this post, I'm sure to piss off at least half of my family, but I am prepared to deal with it. After all, I am taking something "private" and making it public. Everything I say here, I mean with no disrespect. My intention is not to be hurtful, as I'm sure I have unknowingly offended them at times. I will not name names, nor will I try to humiliate or hit below the belt.

Some dinners with my family are less than a treat for me. There are often negative remarks made about someone, rude tasteless jokes told at another's expense, and often complete disregard for another's feelings.
But how far is too far? And when you speak up to draw the boundaries, should you expect to get your feelings dismissed, or worse... more of the same for being "too sensitive?"

On Sunday, I was basically snubbed by one sibling. I was informed by another that, because I wouldn't allow my kids to eat foods that they were allergic to, I was "psychotic." I instantly got defensive and tried to explain that I'm not going to give them food that's going to fill them up so much that they're puking all night. My explanation about the allergies was impatiently shushed by another. My past relationships were brought up in the hurtful form of a joke that I had "frequent flyer miles" at the Wedding Place. This was done in front of my future husband, who was also made to feel uncomfortable by this.

I was grateful when another of my siblings, who had remained silent throught all this, tried to alleviate some tension. This was done by voicing an understanding about the food allergies, and shrugging about the relationship thing by saying "We're all going to hell anyways, so we might as well enjoy life."

I came away from dinner that night feeling badly about myself, questioning my parenting, and my place in the family. I wondered if I had said anything to anyone that might have been taken the wrong way.
I felt that I was treated unfairly, and that some pretty low shots were taken.

It's unfortunate that misunderstandings and hurt feelings have to happen within a family of adults. What's even more unfortunate is that many of us will just add these misgivings to our pile of ammunition, ready to use at the next family gathering.