Today I'm feeling a wee bit "edgy". I have tons in my life to be thankful for, but today I just feel like walking away from my life for a while. For your reading pleasure today, a list of things that I ponder as I try to get over myself.
*Five people live in this house. Why am I the only person who notices the garbage needs to be taken out and actually does it?
*Why do I do everyone's laundry, fold it, and take it to the bedrooms but the only time anyone else ever does laundry is to wash something (as in three items) of theirs. Then complains when it sits in the washer for 2 days and starts to stink.
*Dishes? Please. I wash dishes at least 5 times a day. I hate coming into the kitchen in the morning and seeing last nights dishes all over the place. If I don't feel like washing the supper dishes then why don't you do it? Every single person in this house is capable of getting their hands wet. This is pisses me off the most.
*I care for 5, sometimes 6 children for 11 hours a day, 5 days a week, in addition to 3 of my own. 4 of these kids are under age 3. I am not complaining about this, it is my job and what I chose to do. But just because I do it at home does not mean that I am ready, willing and able to do your errands as well just because "I'm at home all day." My job is just as important as yours.
*I get tired and I want to relax once in a while. I need a break sometimes. Leaving the house (and me) on weekends to do your thing (even if it is for us) while I am left with a sick kid is not relaxing. I'm here all week - I want/need to leave the house too. Only I have to drag Sick Boy with me. Not fun for either of us.
*I need a grown-up to talk to. 15 minutes during supper or 10 minutes before bed doesn't cut it for me. I have a ton of thoughts and ideas and dreams. Care to listen sometime?
*I want to feel like I'm beautiful. I only feel tired and worn out. Paying attention to me after I've had to ask really doesn't make me feel all that special.
*I want to feel appreciated. For WHO I am, not what I do on a daily basis. Yah, the clothes get washed, the house is somewhat clean...I get that you appreciate having someone provide you with clean socks. However,there is more to me than my housekeeping skills.
*When I get frustrated like this, don't tease me and call me grumpy. Don't joke with each other in front of me about how easy it is to upset me. That has never helped. Try making me some tea or hugging me without trying to "fix things". How about some prevention instead of a cure? Just sit with me and let me talk. Or cry. Or take a nap. Whatever I need.
Just don't stick your fingers through the bars after you've rattled the cage- you might lose one.
